Interviews... A Mutual Exchange

For me, interviews are like a first date.

I spend extra time choosing the right clothes, make sure every hair is in place, and try to say the right words and do the right things while I’m in the presence of “my date” (the hiring manager). I want this person to like me and hope they call me back for a second date. I’d be exceedingly happy if they were ready to jump into a long term commitment with me, say, by the end of the week.

Can you relate?

It’s taken some time, but I’ve talked myself out of this approach. If anything I’ve wrote so far lines up with your experience, then read on to see if you can glean anything.

Decide what your values are and who you are, and the rest will be easy. Too much adaptation will leave you without a sense of who you are and what you can contribute. How can you give when you don’t know what you’re giving? There’s nothing wrong about wanting to make a good impression in an interview. But this shouldn’t be you first priority.

Instead of simply answering the questions out of a sense of obedience, hoping saying little will help you avoid saying the wrong thing, help guide the conversation back to how your skill set is a good match for the position and the company.

How you can guide the conversation:

If you’re asked the infamous, “So, tell me about yourself” then you have a great opportunity to guide the conversation. How? Because you know that you score the most points by keeping this brief description focused on your skills and how they apply to the position. You may also prompt a question from the interviewer that they may not have thought to ask. Google “30 second commercial for job seekers” and practice this.

Ask questions of your own – especially questions that will help you screen the company and your potential manager and coworkers. They have their wish list, why ignore yours? Google a list of potential questions you can ask at your next interview, then pick which are most meaningful to you and take them with you.

When asked a question that goes to the tune of, “Tell me about a time when…” it’s rather easy to guide the conversation back to your skills. But when the question can be answered with a simple yes or no, it can be more difficult to guide the conversation. Take initiative and say, “Yes, I have trained someone, and I’d like to tell you more about this if time allows.” Hopefully you’ll get the go-ahead, and then the door is wide open for you to expound on your skills.

Word of Caution: if at any time the interviewer is abrupt, not patient enough to hear your answers, and interrupts you often like it’s a polite conversation habit, think long and hard about whether this is something you can deal with if offered the job. Remember you can hold your own behavioral interview just like they can with you, and not listening when your potential employee is speaking is a red-flag.

Instead of using the word “interview,” use the word “conversation” instead. That’s all it really is. Yes, most of us have been interviewed by people that wanted to intimidate us (once again, remember this and decide if this is a trait you can live with) but it all really boils down to a conversation. They have something you (possibly) want, and you have something they (possibly) want.